By Seriously Strange

Through all the supermarket aisles

And dangling above your head,

Signs declare their service exceeds

Just crisps, magazines and sliced up bread.

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There is now more on offer.

But what more could there be?

They now offer loans and banking

And even an ISP!

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A fresh, new sign appeared today.

The contents you won't guess.

Only about a merger:

Tesco and the NHS!

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I suppose it makes sense, really;

The NHS need some cash

And Tesco has plenty of it.

But the decision may prove rash:

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The first strain would appear quite soon,

In an idea that seems ace:

When walking into a quiet store

You see queues that fill the place.

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Waiting in reception, you see

There's someone before you

Why not use Tesco's 'one infornt' thing?

That'll reduce the queue.

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Trying to do the monthly shop

Parents will think "The cheek!"

When told, "Sorry no trolleys available

"Please try again next week."

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Nurses may get a bit annoyed

When the theatres call;

They have to put a pound in the slot

To detach the bed from the wall.

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If there's ever a cold winter

Wards get crowded, for the heating bill

Whenever there's a hot summer,

Will fridge's be crowded for the chill?

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Two beds being raced to the lift

Trying to board that moving cage

When one bed gets in before the other

Will that cause any 'bed rage'?

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When looking for help one day

You approach a shelf-stacking man

You ask for the seafood section

Mis-diagnosing, he directs you to the ham

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And what a sorrowful sight

When walking late, you meet

An up-turned bed, mis-used

Lying helplessly in the street.

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One thing the NHS has done

I don't see Tesco doing, really -

How would they make shopping

Dramatic enough for telly?

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If you ever decide to go private

Paying won't be hard -

Just walk up to the cashier

Showing your 'NHS clubcard'